When “Caring Parents” Are a Lie

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Family courts are supposed to protect children. But sometimes, the very people claiming to be “caring” parents are the ones causing harm.

“You can have your home back when I’m dead.”

This is not care. This is control. This is abuse.

Homelessness Is Not a Parenting Choice

A caring parent does not make their children homeless.

A caring parent does not hoard assets while refusing to meet basic needs.

A caring parent does not use money as punishment.

Yet abusers do all of this.

And too often, family courts focus on the wrong narrative.

Economic Abuse Is Real

Keeping all the assets and paying nothing  or the bare minimum, is economic abuse.

It is deliberate. It is controlling.

It is designed to:

• Punish

• Maintain power

• Force dependence

“Children feel the consequences directly: no safe home, no security, no control over their lives.”

Emotional Abuse Leaves Lasting Scars

Telling children or the other parent:

“You’ll get your home back when I’m dead”

This is emotional abuse.

It communicates:-

• “Your safety doesn’t matter”

• “Your needs are irrelevant”

• “I control your future”

Children internalize this: anxiety, fear, chronic insecurity.

Abuse Is Behaviour, Not Diagnosis

Courts often misread autism, honesty, or calmness as “risk”

They accept vague mental health allegations instead of looking at patterns of abuse.

Control is the weapon.

Children are the collateral damage.

Ask the Hard Question

“If this parent truly prioritizes the children, why are the children homeless while assets are retained and obligations avoided?”

The answer exposes the truth:-

• This is about control, not care

• It is coercive, deliberate, and harmful

What Real Care Looks Like

A parent who truly cares will:-

• Ensure stable housing

• Meet child maintenance obligations

• Prioritize children’s wellbeing over personal control

• Make decisions for children, and not themselves

Anything less is abuse disguised as parenting.

The Bottom Line

Autism, honesty, or vulnerability does not make someone unfit to parent.

Coercion, deprivation, and manipulation do.

“Abuse is a choice. Caring is a choice. Children deserve the latter.”

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Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better