Parenting Should Be Love. Instead, It’s a Battlefield

Deanna Newell
5 days ago
2 min read

Parallel parenting promises structure, boundaries, and predictability, a lifeline for children caught between two homes.

But some parents don’t play fair. They turn rules into weapons, schedules into control, and love into a bargaining chip.

Manipulation Is Invisible. It's Damage Isn’t

One parent says: “Be flexible to fit our schedule.” Suddenly, the child doubts what is fair. Questions what is true. Negotiated rules? Meaningless. Boundaries? Broken.

Some parents live in their own reality. Facts don’t matter. Evidence doesn’t exist. Logic is ignored. Disagreements? Not discussion.

These parents operate using domination, threats, and emotional pressure.

Sometimes even physical intimidation.

The goal: the other parent always “gets in line”.

Children Are the Collateral Damage

The casualties of this battlefield are often the children:-

Authority twisted into fear
Love given only when they comply
Loyalty weaponised, forcing impossible choices

Truth becomes negotiable. Fairness is a lie. Stability evaporates.

Anxiety, fear, and confusion are the legacy.

Self-worth is undermined by the adults who should protect them.

Coercion Masquerading as Parenting

This isn’t parenting. It’s power.-

Compliance measures love
Disagreements trigger punishment
Every decision, every narrative, every perception is controlled

For the targeted parent, it feels like psychological strangulation.

Every interaction is a test.

Every disagreement a threat. Access to your own children becomes conditional, love rationed like currency, life reduced to a performance.

How to Survive and Protect Your Children

Parallel parenting only works when fortified against manipulation:-

Document Everything – Facts are your shield.
Communicate in Writing – Neutral, unemotional, unassailable.
Keep Routines Predictable – Children need consistency, not chaos.
Set Firm Boundaries – Don’t react to manipulation. Stay calm.
Use Legal Support – Court orders and documentation enforce fairness.
Protect the Children Emotionally – Reassure them lies aren’t their fault.

The Real Victory

This isn’t about winning. It’s about survival. It's about keeping your children safe, grounded, and loved, no matter how twisted the other parent’s narrative becomes.

Parallel parenting doesn’t promise peace.

However it can protect your children from the war that they never signed up for.

Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better