What We Don’t Talk About: Child Maintenance Accountability
- Deanna Newell
- Apr 10
- 2 min read
Some parents refuse to pay, not because they can’t, but because they won’t.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Since COVID-19, child poverty has risen sharply, with millions of kids in the UK struggling to eat, heat their homes, and take part in normal childhood experiences.
Child maintenance rates are often a fraction of what children actually need, yet some parents still refuse to pay.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Imagine:-
Your parent works 60+ hours a week, sometimes two jobs
You hear “we can’t afford it.”
You miss out on basic things, school trips, birthday treats, holidays
Meanwhile, the other parent lives comfortably, but chooses not to contribute.
That is financial and emotional neglect.
Agreements Aren’t Optional
Signing an agreement to support your child?
It doesn’t end because the relationship did.
Parenting is forever.
Survivors of Abuse Face a Double Struggle
Some parents leave abusive relationships with:-
No home
No savings
Lost career opportunities
After years of coercive control, they rebuild from nothing, working long hours, multiple jobs, every holiday, to provide stability.
This is survival. Not weakness.
The Reality of Financial Gaming
Some parents use maintenance as leverage:-
Accept day visits, but block overnight stays to claim more money.
Others publicly say they “pay maintenance,” but the actual amount is less than £100/month.
Children see the strategy, and it leaves scars.
To the Parents Who Step Up
If you:-
Pay fairly
Show up consistently
Support your children emotionally and financially
You are the standard.
You are not the problem. You are what every child needs.
To Those Who Don’t
Choosing not to support your child when you can is:-
A moral failure
A legal failure
An emotional burden your child will carry forever
You may avoid payments, but you cannot avoid the truth.
Bigger Than Money
Child maintenance isn’t just pounds, it’s:-
Responsibility
Integrity
Setting an example
Children remember what you didn’t do, not just what you did.
Final Reality
There are good mothers, good fathers, and parents doing everything they can
Then there are those leaving their children to suffer the consequences of adult decisions
Supporting your child is not optional. It’s your responsibility.
Deanna Newell Family Law
Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better
