Trapped in Love, or a Nightmare?
- Deanna Newell
- Mar 7
- 2 min read
You thought it was love. The attention. The charm. The “perfect partner.”
But love doesn’t control your life. Love doesn’t make you feel trapped. Love doesn’t make you afraid of your own home.
Coercive control. Economic abuse. Emotional manipulation. These are real. And if you have children, the trap tightens. Your home becomes a prison. Your finances, your decisions, even your happiness, controlled by someone who says they love you.
Pregnancy? Supposed to be joy. Instead: body-shamed. Controlled. Told you’re crazy for wanting freedom. This is not love. This is abuse.
Here’s the truth: they will not change. They will play the victim. They will convince you, and everyone else that you are the problem. But your pain is real, and your truth matters.
Plan your exit. It will be hard. It will be scary. But it is possible. For you. For your children. Reach out to family, friends, safe spaces. Your freedom is worth it.
You deserve to breathe. You deserve life outside their control. You deserve safety.
Awareness isn’t enough. Act. Protect yourself. Believe in your escape.
Coercion in Relationships
Coercion isn’t just occasional manipulation it’s a systematic way to control your life. It often starts subtly: love-bombing, flattery, and attention, followed by criticism, isolation, and control.
Decision-making control: Your partner insists on choosing your home, your social circle, or even what you eat.
Isolation: Your partner makes you feel guilty for spending time with family or friends, cutting off your support network.
Emotional manipulation: Your partner gaslights you (“You’re overreacting,” “You’re crazy”) so that you doubt your own judgment.
Coercion During Pregnancy
Pregnancy is meant to be a time of joy, but abusers exploit vulnerability:
Body-shaming: Calling you fat or unattractive.
Emotional attacks: Saying you can’t enjoy your pregnancy or belittling your feelings.
Increased control: Making you financially or physically dependent.
Coercion and Parenting
When children are involved, coercion often escalates:
Financial manipulation: Controlling money, threatening to withhold support, making you dependent.
Decision control: Dictating what your children wear, eat, or where they go.
Emotional sabotage: Turning children against you or using them to pressure you into compliance.
The effect is clear: you feel trapped. Your home, finances, and emotional well-being are constantly monitored and restricted. Any attempt to resist is made to seem unreasonable or “crazy.”
The Bottom Line
Coercion is not love. It’s a prison built on manipulation, fear, and control. The more isolated you become, through finances, pregnancy, or parenting, the harder it can feel to escape.
But escape is possible. Plan. Reach out. Protect yourself. Freedom is worth it.
Deanna Newell Family Law
Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better
Comments