Children Are Not Witnesses. They Are Victims: Why Family Justice Must Put Children First

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As the House of Lords examines the impact of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, campaigners call for stronger assessment, earlier intervention, and a child-centred family justice system

Why this matters now: Parliament examines whether children are truly being protected

The House of Lords Domestic Abuse Act 2021 Committee is examining one of the most important questions facing family justice today:

Are children who experience, witness or are affected by domestic abuse receiving the protection, support and recognition that they need?

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 introduced a significant legal change by recognising that children are victims of domestic abuse in their own right when they see, hear or experience the effects of abuse.

However, changing the law is only the first step.

The real challenge is ensuring that this recognition leads to meaningful change across family courts, safeguarding services, education, healthcare and all agencies responsible for supporting children.

Too many children continue to experience emotional harm while systems struggle to identify risk early enough.

Children cannot afford another decade of waiting for reform.

Children as victims in their own right

Children affected by domestic abuse are not simply witnesses to what happens between adults.

They experience the impact directly.

Domestic abuse can affect a child’s emotional wellbeing, sense of safety, relationships, confidence and development. The harm may arise from:-

• Witnessing frightening behaviour

• Hearing arguments, threats or intimidation

• Experiencing emotional manipulation

• Living with fear and uncertainty

• Being exposed to controlling behaviour

• Feeling responsible for adult conflict

Children should never be placed in the position of managing adult disputes.

They should not be expected to pass messages between parents.

They should not feel pressured to choose sides.

They should not carry responsibility for decisions that belong to adults and professionals.

Children are children.

Their voices matter, but the responsibility for protecting them belongs to adults.

The hidden impact of coercive control and post-separation abuse

Domestic abuse does not always end when a relationship ends. For some families, separation can become the beginning of a different form of harm.

Post-separation abuse can continue through attempts to maintain control, create instability or cause emotional distress. This may include:-

• Ongoing intimidation

• Financial pressure

• Repeated disputes

• Misuse of processes designed to support families

• Attempts to undermine a child’s relationship with a safe parent

• Creating uncertainty and conflict around arrangement.

Coercive control can be particularly difficult to identify because it is often a pattern of behaviour rather than one isolated incident.

A child-centred system must look beyond individual events and consider the wider picture.

Why “high conflict” can miss the real risks

One of the challenges facing family justice is that some complex cases are described simply as “high conflict”.

However, conflict between parents and coercive control are not the same thing.

A disagreement between two parents is different from a pattern of behaviour where one person seeks to dominate, intimidate or control another.

At the same time, allegations of domestic abuse and safeguarding concerns must always be investigated fairly and assessed using evidence.

The answer is not to automatically believe one parent over another.

The answer is a system capable of identifying patterns, assessing risk and making decisions based on evidence and the child’s welfare.

Every child deserves protection from harm.

Every parent deserves a fair assessment.

The need for a Three-Tier Family Assessment Framework

A consistent national approach is needed to ensure families receive the right level of assessment and support at the right time.

A Mandatory Three-Tier Family Assessment Framework would provide a structured approach;

Tier 1 – Standard Family Assessment

For families experiencing separation who need guidance, support and child-focused arrangements. The focus would be on:-

• Reducing unnecessary conflict

• Supporting communication

• Establishing safe and stable arrangements for children

Tier 2 – Enhanced Family and Financial Assessment

For complex cases involving:-

• Disputed child arrangements

• Child maintenance concerns

• Financial disputes

• Repeated court involvement

• Possible coercive control indicators

• Wider family circumstances requiring deeper assessment

This tier allows professionals to understand the full circumstances affecting the child.

Tier 3 – Specialist Court and Multi-Agency Safeguarding Review

For cases involving:-

• Domestic abuse

• Significant safeguarding concerns

• Coercive and controlling behaviour

• Risks requiring specialist intervention

This would bring together relevant agencies to ensure decisions are informed by the complete picture.

The aim is simple:

Identify risk earlier. Support families better. Protect children sooner.

Recommendations for reform

To strengthen protection for children affected by domestic abuse, family justice reform should include-:

1. Mandatory child impact assessments

Every case involving safeguarding concerns, domestic abuse allegations or disputed child arrangements should consider the direct impact on the child.

2. Improved professional training

Professionals working across family justice, safeguarding, education and healthcare should receive consistent training on:-

• Coercive control

• Post-separation abuse

• Emotional harm

• Children’s experiences of domestic abuse

3. Better information sharing

Agencies should work together to build a complete understanding of a child’s circumstances. Relevant information from courts, education, health, social care and support services should be considered.

4. Stronger support for children during court processes

Children should receive appropriate support and explanations throughout proceedings.

They should never feel responsible for adult decisions.

5. Evidence-based decision-making

Family justice must focus on evidence, safety and welfare.

The priority must always be the child’s best interests.

Conclusion: Children’s rights must come first

Children should not have to wait until harm has escalated before their needs are recognised.

They should not become lost within adult disputes. They should not be expected to carry the emotional burden of decisions made by others.

Family justice reform is not about mothers versus fathers.

It is about creating a system where:-

• Genuine risks are identified

• Evidence matters

• Children are listened to

• Families receive appropriate support

• Children’s welfare comes first

Children are not witnesses to someone else’s story.

They are individuals with their own rights, needs and futures.

Children are not weapons.
They are not messengers.
They are not bargaining tools. They are children.

And they deserve a family justice system that puts them first.

About the author

Deanna Newell is Founder of DN Family Law, campaigning for reform of family justice and child maintenance systems, with a focus on evidence-based decision-making, children’s welfare and improved support for families.

Through her campaigning work, Deanna advocates for stronger assessment processes, earlier intervention and systems that ensure children remain at the centre of every decision affecting their lives.

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Deanna Newell | Founder | DN Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better