Separated Parents on Father’s Day and Mother’s Day: The Hidden Reality Behind Family Breakdown and Family Court Delay
- Deanna Newell
- Jul 5
- 2 min read
The reality behind the social media celebration
Behind many Father’s Day and Mother’s Day posts online, there is another reality that often goes unseen.
For some parents, these days are not celebrations. They are painful reminders of children they have not seen for months or even years.
Old photos saved on phones. Messages left unanswered. And a persistent hope that contact with their child will one day be restored.
These experiences are often invisible in public conversations about family life.
“They walked away”, but many say that isn’t the truth
Too often, separated parents — particularly fathers, but also mothers — are assumed to have simply walked away from their children.
But many describe something very different.
They say that they are still present. Still trying. Still emotionally and practically available. Still wanting to maintain a meaningful role in their children’s lives.
Over time, however, contact can be lost through delay, conflict, and systems that do not always resolve disputes quickly or consistently.
What I have seen through voluntary work and engagement
Over the past year, I have undertaken voluntary work supporting people going through court proceedings and family disputes.
I have also spoken with professionals, policymakers, and organisations working within and around the family justice system.
One message comes through consistently:
Reform cannot happen in silos.
When agencies do not communicate effectively, when information is fragmented, and when processes are delayed, families experience the consequences directly.
Why I support a mandatory Family Justice Triage system
This is why I support the development of a mandatory Family Justice Triage system.
A system designed to ensure that, from the outset:-
Cases are properly and consistently assessed
Safeguarding concerns are clearly distinguished from contact disputes
Relevant information is shared appropriately between agencies
Decisions are informed, timely, and coordinated
The aim is to reduce delay, reduce miscommunication, and prevent unnecessary escalation of conflict. Because when systems do not work together, families remain stuck in them for longer than they should.
The best interests of the child must remain central
This is not about favouring one parent over another.
It is about focusing on what matters most: the best interests of the child.
Where it is safe and appropriate, that includes ensuring children can maintain meaningful, stable, and ongoing relationships with both parents.
Why reform cannot wait
Real change will not come from isolated voices or fragmented systems operating independently. It will come through collaboration, early intervention, and a family justice system that is properly joined up from the beginning.
If this is your experience
If this reflects your experience, you are not alone.
If you wish to share your story please do get in contact - www.dnfamilylaw.co.uk
Deanna Newell Family Law
Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better
