Financial Control in Family Court: A Common Yet Overlooked Pattern

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Many survivors of coercive control report that during and after separation, the abusive parent weaponises money — deliberately failing to provide adequate support, dictating terms, or using the court system itself to prolong financial hardship.

The current family court system too often focuses narrowly on physical care arrangements, without properly considering the financial welfare of the children or the primary carer — usually the parent who stepped up to provide safety, stability, and emotional support.

Meanwhile, the abusive parent may be declaring war on the children’s main caregiver, furious that they’ve been left, and determined to punish them — not only emotionally, but financially. They blame the protective parent when the children pull away, refusing to acknowledge how their own threatening, aggressive, or controlling behaviour may be the real reason the children no longer want contact.

This isn’t “bitterness.” This is financial abuse. And it’s happening every day in plain sight of the courts.

What This Looks Like in Practice

• The primary carer (usually the mother) is left shouldering 100% of the costs — housing, food, school uniforms, therapy, travel, and specialist provision — while the other parent contributes little or nothing.

• Many survivors go through divorce or separation without legal advice, often due to intimidation, threats, or financial dependence — resulting in no formal financial settlement, just dictated demands.

• Family courts rarely ask why one parent is using food banks, charity shops, or benefits — while the other appears financially stable, running businesses, or hiding income behind company structures.

• The financially abusive parent often engages in gaslighting and projection — accusing the protective parent of “overspending” or “alienating” the children, while refusing to cover even basic costs.

This is not “parental conflict.” This is a calculated strategy of punishment and control — and it puts children at real risk of poverty and unmet needs.

What Should the Courts Be Doing?

The courts must stop turning a blind eye. Financial abuse is safeguarding. Ignoring it is failing children.

Courts must:-

•  Apply a “Financial Welfare Checklist” during any Child Arrangements Order

• Ask whether child maintenance is being paid — and if not, why. Is income being hidden? Are businesses undeclared?

• Investigate whether the primary carer is living in poverty, debt, or housing instability

• Consider whether a Schedule 1 application is needed to secure the child’s educational, therapeutic, or housing needs

• Recognise litigation abuse and financial coercion as serious safeguarding concerns — especially where coercive control is already evident

Schedule 1 Applications — A Lifeline for Protective Parents

Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 allows a parent, guardian, or carer to apply for financial provision for a child — regardless of whether they were married or in a civil partnership with the other parent.

This is one of the few legal tools that can protect children’s welfare when the non-resident parent refuses to pay fairly or at all.

What Can Be Applied For?

•  Lump Sum Payments — for school fees, therapy, sensory equipment, home education, assessments

• Property Transfers or Settlements — a home held in trust for the child

• Ongoing Maintenance — especially where CMS doesn’t reflect the child’s real needs

   Education or Disability Costs — such as private or specialist schooling, SEN provision, Steiner placements, therapeutic education, or mobility aids

Who Can Apply?

• A parent or legal guardian

• A person with residence or parental responsibility

• The child, after age 18, for university or disability-related costs

• In some circumstances, step-parents may apply — especially if they hold parental responsibility or are primary carers (seek legal advice)

Next Steps for Affected Parents

If you are experiencing any of the following then a Schedule 1 application could be essential. This is not about “greed” or revenge — it is about securing the essentials your children need to survive, grow, and heal.

• Living in financial hardship while the other parent refuses to contribute

• Funding therapy, education, or care for children with additional needs

• Unable to access legal support due to intimidation or poverty

• Experiencing financial coercion, litigation abuse, or post-separation control

In Summary

Family courts must start asking the right questions.

Because when one parent is thriving and the other is starving,

it’s not a parenting dispute. It’s abuse.

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Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better