Financial Abuse After Separation: Red Flags Family Courts Must Not Ignore

---

Financial abuse is a recognised form of domestic abuse.  It doesn’t stop when the relationship ends — it often escalates.

In this blog post I outline seven warning signs that financial coercion or abuse may be impacting the child and the primary carer — this is often as part of a broader pattern of post-separation control.

In family court, when financial control is ignored, children pay the price.

 1. Refusal to Pay Child Maintenance

• Parent claims unemployment or minimal income while maintaining a high standard of living

• Self-employed or business owner declaring low or no income

• Repeated delays, non-payment, or cancellation of child maintenance

• Avoidance of CMS by refusing to engage or deliberately under-reporting earnings

 2. Withholding of Financial Support to Exert Control

• Cuts off all financial support after separation with no formal arrangements

• Uses financial pressure to force contact, silence concerns, or “punish” the other parent

• Offers conditional or transactional support: “I’ll pay if you let me see them,” “If you stop talking about court, I’ll transfer the money.”

• Attempts to dictate lifestyle decisions (housing, schooling, activities) without contributing

 3. Disparity Between Lifestyle and Contribution

• One parent lives in comfort (own home, holidays, car, business), while the primary carer is on benefits, in debt, or using food banks

• Claims of “alienation” or “manipulation” from the protective parent, while ignoring child-related expenses

• Child expresses anxiety or distress over poverty, missed activities, or hunger

 4. Financial Abuse Paired with Litigation Abuse

• Drags out court proceedings to increase legal fees for the other parent

• Makes repeated, unfounded applications to force costs or delay

• Refuses to mediate or resolve issues out of court

• Withholds paperwork, financial disclosure, or engages in last-minute withdrawals or cancellations

 5. Absence of Formal Financial Agreement Post-Separation

• Separation occurred without a clean break order or proper legal advice

• Financial terms were dictated or agreed under pressure, threats, or coercion

• Parent may have signed away entitlements out of fear or lack of representation

 6. Neglect of Children’s Additional Needs

• Refuses to contribute to therapy, specialist education, assessments, or equipment for SEND or medical needs

• Undermines or minimises child’s diagnosis or needs to avoid financial accountability

• Claims “wasteful spending” when asked to fund therapy or support — while spending freely on personal interests

 7. Power Imbalance Due to Economic Dependency

• One parent controls access to housing, income, or legal advice

• Survivor reports they couldn’t afford a lawyer or were left in debt post-separation

• History of financial control or economic isolation during the relationship

If Multiple Red Flags Are Present

The court must:-

• Consider whether a Schedule 1 application is needed to secure the child’s basic or additional needs

• Investigate the risk of post-separation coercive control, including economic control

• Prioritise the child’s financial, emotional, and educational wellbeing — not just their time with each parent

• Recognise that financial abuse is a safeguarding concern, not a private matter

Children’s welfare includes economic stability. A child cannot thrive on contact alone — they need food, housing, education, and dignity.

Financial abuse is child neglect by proxy.

---

Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better