Family Courts Must Learn from the NHS: It’s Time for Empathy, Not Judgment

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When someone walks into an NHS hospital, they are often at their lowest—physically, emotionally, or mentally. Healthcare professionals are trained to respond not with judgment, but with compassion. They are taught to see beyond the pain or distress of that moment. The person before them may be having the worst day of their life, but they are still treated with dignity, empathy, and care.

Now imagine if that same person walked into a family court instead.

Too often, survivors of domestic abuse - usually mothers - are met with suspicion rather than support. Their trauma is dissected, doubted, and dismissed. Their reactions to abuse are treated as character flaws. Their attempts to protect their children are seen as “alienating” or “hostile.” This is not justice. This is judgment.

We urgently need to roll NHS training and values into our family court system.

Why the NHS Gets It Right

The NHS is consistently held to high standards of professional conduct. Its staff are trained to:

• Treat patients without bias, regardless of their background or circumstances.

• Respond with empathy, especially when mental health or trauma are involved.

• Communicate compassionately, recognising that the presenting behaviour may be shaped by pain or distress, not character or intent.

• Provide person-centred care, understanding that every individual deserves respect and to be listened to.

If NHS staff treated patients the way some parents are treated in family courts—judging them for their trauma responses, questioning their motives for seeking protection, or applying personal bias—they would be subject to disciplinary action. So why is this tolerated in our legal system?

What’s Going Wrong in Family Courts

In family courts:-

• Domestic abuse is routinely minimised, and victims are often retraumatised by being forced to relive their abuse in front of their abuser and legal professionals.

• Trauma responses—like anxiety, hyper-vigilance, or distress—are misinterpreted as instability or parental unfitness.

• Bias goes unchecked, with professionals too often making assumptions based on gender, neurodiversity, or mental health.

This approach not only fails survivors—it puts children at risk. A parent who is protecting their child should not be penalised for being in distress. Pain is not proof of guilt. Trauma is not parental failure.

We Need a New Standard: Trauma-Informed Justice

Family court professionals - judges, social workers, CAFCASS officers, legal representatives - must be trained to the same empathetic and trauma-informed standards as NHS professionals. This means:

• Understanding the impact of trauma on behaviour.

• Recognising the signs of domestic abuse, even when it’s non-physical or hidden.

• Practicing compassionate, non-judgmental listening.

• Respecting neurodiverse and mental health needs without making assumptions or generalisations.

We often hear that “the NHS is outstanding, not judgmental.” This should be the benchmark for every public service—including family courts.

Justice Shouldn’t Hurt

Parents coming into court after escaping abuse or managing complex needs are not at their best. They are surviving. They are protecting. And they are doing their best under impossible circumstances. They deserve the same dignity, understanding, and care that the NHS would offer.

It’s time for our family court system to evolve—to stop retraumatising victims and start protecting families with the same professionalism, empathy, and ethical grounding we expect from our healthcare system.

The question is not whether this change is possible.

It’s whether we’re willing to demand it.

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Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better