Family Courts Are Failing Abuse Survivors, Reform Cannot Wait

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For years, campaigners have warned that the family court system is being weaponised by abusers. Now the data makes it impossible to ignore.

Research shows that domestic abuse is identified in up to 87% of private law children cases in the family courts.

This is not a small subset of cases.

This is the system.

And yet survivors are still being disbelieved, dismissed, and, in some cases, punished for trying to protect their children.

A System That Rewards Control

Survivors are repeatedly dragged back into court, forced to defend themselves against counter-allegations such as “parental alienation”.

But the numbers tell a very different story:-

• Allegations of parental alienation appear in only around 4% of hearings

• Even when broadly defined, they appear in roughly 13% of cases

So while abuse is widespread, the focus is often diverted.

Many parents accused of alienation are not acting out of malice.

They are responding to:-

• Coercion

• Domestic abuse

• Fear for their child’s safety

And yet they are the ones being scrutinised.

The Scale of Domestic Abuse

This is not just a court issue—it is a national crisis:-

• 3.8 million adults experience domestic abuse each year in England and Wales

• That is approximately 1 in 13 adults annually

• 1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime

• Women account for over 70% of domestic abuse victims recorded by police

And for children:-

• 1 in 5 children grow up in a household where domestic abuse occurs

• Over 100,000 children live in high-risk abusive homes

This is the reality behind family court cases.

And yet the system still struggles to fully recognise it.

The Hidden Abuse: Financial and Economic Control

Domestic abuse does not end when a relationship ends.

It often shifts into financial control.

In family court cases:-

• Around 20% involve economic or financial abuse

• Around 35% involve coercive and controlling behaviour

This includes:-

• Restricting access to money

• Manipulating or avoiding child maintenance

• Retaining assets while the other parent is left with nothing

• Using court proceedings to apply financial pressure

While some parents leave relationships with:-

• A home

• Savings

• Pensions

• Financial stability

Others leave with nothing at all.

And are then forced to fight through the courts to survive.

The Reality for Survivors

Survivors of domestic abuse are still:-

• Disbelieved in court

• Labelled as “difficult” or “alienating”

• Forced into unsafe contact arrangements

• Left financially devastated

At the same time, some parents — through financial manipulation and forms of alienation — benefit from:-

• Stable housing

• Favourable financial settlements

• Consistent child maintenance

Meanwhile, abusers are often left with ongoing financial gain, continuing control through money long after separation.

This inequality is rarely acknowledged.

But it is shaping children’s lives every single day.

Follow the Money: What The Courts Are Missing

If we are serious about justice, we must start asking harder questions — especially about finances.

Because the financial reality often tells the true story.

A simple financial checklist could expose patterns of coercion and control-:

• Who received what in the divorce settlement?

• If one parent received little or nothing — ask why?

• Who is paying child maintenance, and is it fair?

• Does one parent retain financial power post-separation?

Because when one parent walks away secure, and the other with nothing, it is not just circumstance. It may be evidence of:-

• Financial abuse

• Economic coercion

• Ongoing control

And right now, the system is not looking closely enough.

When “Alienation” Is Used as a Weapon

Not all alienation is deliberate. Sometimes it happens through:-

• Stress

• Miscommunication

• Fear

But deliberate alienation is different. It includes:-

• False allegations

• Manipulating a child’s views

• Blocking contact without cause

• Using children as leverage

And when it is driven by greed, control, or financial gain, it must be recognised.

Because parenting should never be about:-

• Maximising money

• Punishing an ex-partner

• Controlling a narrative

It should always be about the child.

Reform Is Coming,  But It Must Go Further

New child-focused court pilots are beginning to improve outcomes:-

• Cases are being resolved up to 7.5 months faster

• Backlogs have been significantly reduced

Earlier involvement from support services and the use of Child Impact Reports are being described as game-changing.

But reform cannot stop at efficiency.

Because speed without safety is not justice.

A Call for Accountability

Right now, the system too often:-

• Treats abuse as “conflict”

• Punishes protective parents

• Overlooks financial control

• Fails to hold manipulation to account

This must change.

We need a system where:-

• Evidence comes first

• Financial abuse is recognised and tracked

• Child maintenance and family courts work together

• Survivors are protected, not retraumatised

• Those who manipulate the system are held accountable

This Is About Justice

When nearly 9 in 10 family court cases involve domestic abuse, this is not a side issue.

It is the reality.

You cannot claim to care about justice if you ignore abuse.

And you cannot protect children without understanding the full picture, including financial control.

Until that happens:-

Survivors will continue to be failed.

Children will continue to suffer.

And abusers will continue to find ways to control.

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Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better