Domestic Abuse Isn’t Always Physical: Why Coercive Control Must Be Taken Seriously in Family Courts

---

When most people think of domestic abuse, they picture bruises, black eyes, or physical violence.

But abuse often leaves no visible scars.

Coercive control, the psychological, emotional, and financial domination of a partner,  can destroy lives quietly, yet profoundly.

And in family courts, it is still frequently misunderstood or overlooked.

What Coercive Control Looks Like

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour designed to intimidate, isolate, and dominate a partner. It often includes:-

• Emotional abuse: manipulation, threats, intimidation

• Financial and economic abuse: controlling money, restricting access to accounts, hiding assets

• Social isolation: limiting contact with friends, family, or support networks

• Post-separation abuse: continuing control via legal disputes or child arrangements

The result? Survivors can feel trapped even after leaving the relationship.

Divorce Detriment and Financial Imbalance

Family courts often assume that separation automatically resets power:-

• One parent may leave with nothing — no savings, no access to funds — while the other maintains control

• Financial abuse can continue through the legal process, leaving survivors unable to pay legal fees or secure equitable settlements

This creates a cycle of disadvantage, impacting both the survivor and their children.

Legal Recognition,  But Courts Still Struggle

Coercive control became a criminal offence under the Serious Crime Act 2015.

Yet in family courts:-

• Emotional abuse and financial manipulation are difficult to prove

• Judges and mediators may fail to recognise ongoing patterns of abuse

• Survivors often face pressure to negotiate “fair” settlements despite invisible power imbalances

Family law decisions that ignore coercive control perpetuate injustice.

Why Courts Need to Discuss Divorce Detriment

Divorce detriment occurs when one parent leaves a relationship financially worse off due to abuse or unequal power:-

• Courts must acknowledge economic abuse and its ongoing impact

• Decisions about maintenance, property, and child arrangements must factor in the imbalance

• Failing to do so risks further entrenching inequality and harm

Recognising financial and economic abuse is critical to achieving fair outcomes.

Domestic abuse isn’t always visible.

Coercive control continues long after physical abuse ends, and financial and emotional manipulation often extends into family law proceedings.

Family courts must:-

• Take coercive control seriously in all forms: emotional, financial, social

• Consider divorce detriment when evaluating settlements and child arrangements

• Train judges and mediators to recognise patterns of abuse

• Protect survivors from ongoing post-separation abuse

Justice is about more than documents and procedures,  it’s about acknowledging power, protecting children, and stopping abuse from continuing under the guise of family law.

---

Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better