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Child Maintenance Reform: The Hard Truth That No One Wants to Say

  • Deanna Newell
  • Mar 24
  • 3 min read

I’m hearing it more and more,  from both mums and dads.


Parents working PAYE.

Paying what they’re told.

Doing the right thing.


While watching others exploit loopholes , declaring minimal income through businesses and paying as little as £83 a month per child.


Let’s be honest.


Whilst that may be legal.

On many levels, it’s morally wrong.


What’s Really Happening


Some parents have already:-


  • Paid large divorce settlements

  • Given up the family home

  • Provided housing security for their children

  • Handed over pensions, savings, stability


And then they start over again.

From nothing.


And yet none of that is considered in maintenance calculations.


No context.

No history.

No recognition.


Child Maintenance just consider current income on paper.


The Net Income Illusion


Child maintenance is calculated on earnings, not real life.


It doesn’t account for:-


  • Rent or mortgages

  • Energy bills

  • Food

  • Travel

  • Debts from rebuilding a life


So what happens?


Some parents are left with almost nothing after paying:-


  • Maintenance

  • Fees

  • Basic survival costs


And yet they are still expected to:-


  • Provide a suitable home

  • Maintain meaningful contact

  • Stay mentally strong


When Doing the Right Thing Backfires


Here’s the uncomfortable truth. Those who:-


  • Declare everything

  • Pay on time

  • Follow the rules


Often feel penalised.


While others:-


  • Under-declare income

  • Manipulate business structures

  • Exploit loopholes


ie. Pay less.


This isn’t fairness.

This is a system where honesty can cost more than dishonesty.


Let’s Kill the Narrative


Not all dads avoid paying.

Not all mums are greedy.


Some mums:-


  • Leave with nothing

  • Work relentlessly just to survive


Some dads:-


  • Go above and beyond

  • Always put their children first


The problem isn’t gender. We need to stop stereotyping. 


The problem is selfish behaviour,  on both sides.


What £83 a Month Really Means


In today’s cost-of-living crisis, that covers almost nothing:-


  • Food

  • Clothing

  • School essentials

  • Heating

  • Basic wellbeing


And the consequences?


  • Rising child poverty

  • Mental health struggles

  • Bullying due to lack of essentials

  • Long-term harm to children


The Hidden Crisis: Mental Health


Behind closed doors, pressure is building.


Parents are:-


  • Working excessive hours

  • Living in poor conditions

  • Struggling to maintain relationships with their children


Some are experiencing severe depression.

Some are reaching breaking point.


This is not rare.


This is a system creating human damage.


But Here’s the Other Truth


For many receiving parents — maintenance is not extra income.


It’s survival.


  • One income supports the household

  • Childcare limits earning potential

  • Costs keep rising


And when maintenance isn’t paid?

The impact is immediate.


So while some parents are drowning trying to pay. 

Others are drowning because they’re not receiving.


The Missing Piece: Financial & Economic Abuse


This is where the system still fails.


Financial and economic abuse is now recognised in law,  but rarely reflected in calculations. It includes:-


  • Controlling access to money

  • Preventing a partner from working

  • Forcing financial dependence

  • Hiding or manipulating assets


So we end up with a dangerous reality:-


  • Some parents left with nothing after years of control

  • Some believing they’ve already “paid enough”

  • Some using maintenance itself as a tool of control


This isn’t just about money.

It’s about power.


A System That Doesn’t Reflect Real Life


Right now, everything is split:


  • Divorce → courts

  • Child maintenance → CMS

  • Income → tax system


But families don’t live in separate systems.

They live in one reality.


And when those systems don’t connect, people fall through the cracks.


The Truth No One Wants to Say


Both of these are true:-


  • Some parents are being pushed into financial hardship

  • Some parents cannot survive without maintenance

  • Some have been generous

  • Some have been left with nothing

  • Some exploit the system

  • Some are trapped by it


What Needs to Change


We don’t need sides.

We need solutions.


A fair system must:-


  • Reflect real income, not manipulated figures

  • Consider both households, not just one

  • Acknowledge financial settlements where relevant

  • Factor in real cost of living

  • Properly recognise financial abuse

  • Close loopholes

  • Ensure systems work together


The Hard Truth 


This is not about mothers vs fathers. It’s about this:-


  • A child deserves two stable parents — not one surviving and one struggling

  • A parent should not be pushed into poverty to prove that they care

  • Abuse — in any form — should never be ignored


Final Truth


Children don’t care about loopholes. They care about:-


  • Feeling safe

  • Feeling supported

  • Feeling valued


So ask yourself - are you doing everything that you can for your child? …


Or ... everything that you can to pay less?


Because in the end;

You’re not just making financial decisions.


You’re shaping your child’s life.

 Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better

 
 
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