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Two Homes. Two Childhoods. One Broken System

  • Deanna Newell
  • Apr 10
  • 2 min read

One child. Two lives.


In one home:-


  • Hand-me-downs.

  • Missed school trips.

  • “No, we can’t afford it.”


In the other:-


  • Holidays abroad.

  • New gadgets.

  • A lifestyle that doesn’t match what’s declared on paper.


This is happening right now.


The Truth No One Wants to Say


Children are growing up in poverty — not always because money doesn’t exist, but because the system allows income to be minimised, structured, and reduced on record.


In the UK, child maintenance is often based on declared taxable income.


For some:-


  • Sole traders

  • Small business owners

  • Majority shareholder directors


There are legal ways to structure finances, including:-


  • Paying a low salary (around the personal allowance, ~£12,570)

  • Taking dividends strategically

  • Retaining profits within a business

  • Offsetting income through allowable expenses


On paper, this can make income appear minimal.


And when maintenance is calculated from that?

Payments can fall to less than £100 a month.


For a child.

Let that sink in.


Meanwhile… The PAYE Parent


Now look at the other side.


Parents working PAYE:-


  • Every pound is declared

  • Every payslip is visible

  • Every deduction is automatic


No flexibility. No structuring. No hiding.


They are assessed on gross income — not real disposable income.


Not after:-


  • Rent or a new mortgage

  • Losing the family home

  • Divorce settlements

  • Debt carried forward

  • Pension losses

  • The cost of starting again from nothing


They do everything right.

And still struggle.


This Is Where It Breaks


One parent may leave a relationship with:-


  • The house

  • Savings

  • Financial stability


The other may leave with:-


  • No home

  • No savings

  • A complete financial reset


And yet…


They are still expected to pay more.

While another can legally structure their income to pay less.


That’s not fairness.

That’s a system out of balance.


And The Child?


Caught in the middle.


Living two completely different childhoods.


Not because of love.

Not because of effort.


But because the system measures what’s declared — not what’s real.


The Hidden Cost


This isn’t just financial, it’s:-


  • Stress

  • Burnout

  • Anxiety

  • Rising mental health struggles

  • Parents pushed to breaking point


And children feel all of it.


Let’s Be Clear


This is not about attacking all self-employed parents.

Many act responsibly and fairly.


But the loophole exists.

And when it’s exploited, it creates:-


  • Inequality

  • Resentment

  • Financial hardship

  • Children going without


What Needs to Change


Child maintenance should reflect real life, not just paperwork.


We urgently need reform.


A fair system should include a Child Maintenance Checklist, looking at:-


  • Divorce settlements (who received what?)

  • Housing situations on both sides

  • Savings and pensions retained

  • Ongoing financial commitments

  • True earning capacity — not just declared income


Because right now:-


  • Honesty is penalised.

  • Loopholes are rewarded.


And children are paying the price.


The Bottom Line


Two homes.

Two childhoods.

One broken system.


Children should not experience two completely different standards of living because of gaps in how income is assessed.


They deserve consistency.

Parents deserve fairness.

And doing the right thing should never leave someone worse off.


It’s Time


Time for accountability.

Time for transparency.

Time for reform.


Because children deserve better than this.


Deanna Newell Family Law

Advocacy for truth-tellers, survivors, and the children who deserve better

 
 
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